Heart of the Anti Matter

The irony of Los Angeles, for me now, is that it’s nice outside. However, the city doesn’t appeal to me at all so I’m inside.

I remembered this conversation for some reason and recent advances in technology allowed for a speedy return to a thought.

So now I’m listening to traffic and pondering the concepts of both visualization and resurrection.

“I saw the Lord in a vision and I said to him, ‘Lord, I saw you today in a vision.’ He answered and said to me, ‘Blessed are you, since you did not waver at the sight of me. For where the mind is, there is your countenance’. I said to him, ‘Lord, the mind which sees the vision, does it see it through the soul or through the spirit?’ The Savior answered and said, ‘It sees neither through the soul nor through the spirit, but the mind, which is between the two, which sees the vision”

I do at times feel as if a calling is an involuntary reality, though I may be taking your words out of context, please pardon my appropriation for the moment…

I built a world, a reality around something I believed to be my purpose and what would fill me with meaning. I’ve learned fairly recently that these things were merely a bridge, or a vessel to understanding what it may in fact be that I’m here to do.

I’m starting to believe that I’m here to resurrect something. I feel that many of us are. I’ve felt it through the soul and the spirit, however it’s been the mind that has been in charge of processing it all. Our minds are of the flesh, and though they are infinite in their capacity, they are in most cases stifled by their immediate environment.

I liken it to when you have a fish or other pet that will only grow as large as it’s tank or cage. We quite often use literal sense of sight as the purveyor of reality. We rely on the tactile, the tangible. Our minds by nature, rely on form and definition where the spirit and soul live outside these realms.

Similar to the quote above, things get lost in translation.

Our minds are these great translators, though through studying language we know now that there are concepts, feelings, and ideas that exist outside of certain vernacular, these differences are in most cases due to culture which can then be again brought back to environment. Sometimes we just don’t have the words, or even the alphabet or the overall experience to transliterate.

As inherent creators, it is our only minds eye that is capable of truly visualizing our calling, in inspiration, imagination, and dreams.

I’ve been surrendering to this process for some time via my art, and craft. Having said that, I’ve been fighting a much larger calling as of late.

Part of me fears a hefty responsibility attached to it, another part hates the idea of cutting losses or moving away from something where I’ve invested so much time in.

A friend told me recently “letting things go is difficult, accepting things is easy”

The universe has had me in a headlock for a while now,

Might be time to submit

A submission

Both a surrender of a status quo, and a proposal to plot a new course.

You see the dots seem to be connecting themselves, without the use of a straight rule, or even pen. I see them, so perfectly. I’ve always known the way, only now that I renounce fear do I have the will do follow it and the eyes to see it.

Once again, similar to that fish in the tank. It could be an enormous aquarium so it grows to be as large as it possibly could be. Well adorned with coral and plants and the like to simulate it’s natural state, it’s home. But that fish knows what is real, it knows innately, we all know innately.

But we are told what reality is, as that fish was ripped from it’s home and poured into it’s new world, for someone else’s pleasure.

When we finally awaken, some of us fight.

At first with ourselves, then with the powers who enforce.

We’re made to think we’re crazy. That our senses and intuition and body’s intelligence are somehow misguided.

That we’re broken.

Reality is both ephemeral and subjective, however it is also ours to create. One cannot create without love, without happiness.

I believe that Faith is a keepsake entrusted to us by Happiness, and Hope is the seed of Faith.

Now, I will spread these seeds wherever I go.

This life is greater than expensive coral and a gilded hamster wheel.

My hand is no longer guided, as I can now follow my course

Sans map.

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